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My first ever sex scene. Ooh yeah!

Updated: May 7, 2020

In honour of FINALLY getting to the stage in my novel where the two MC’s get it on, I’d like to commemorate this moment by divulging you in my top 5 lesbian movie love scenes of all time (and get myself in the mood for writing it).

This is the scene I have been eagerly awaiting ever since starting my author journey because… well… okay, I hold my hands up, I'm a teeeeeny bit obsessed with sex scenes. Always have been. I just love them, and after you’ve invested every single one of your emotions in the characters and their stories, the tension and the build-up of their intrigue in one another, their circumstances and the reasons behind why they aren’t or can’t get it together at the start, it feels like such a release when they finally give in to their desires and wanting for one another. You’re willing it to happen as soon as you start to care for those characters and when it does indeed happen, you feel it with them. Know what I mean?

Anyway, my FIRST lesbian sex scene, people… I’m elated, and I hope I do it justice. I must admit, I do prefer watching sex scenes as opposed to reading them because for me, seeing it heightens more senses than imagining it in your head, and I am a very visual person (I'm a designer by trade, remember). I like to see the facial expressions and reactions, I like to hear the breathy vocals, the moans and groans and float away with the music and sexy lighting. It's a whole sensory experience and I want it all up in my face. *ahem*

That goes for books too. But of course, it has to be done right, and we all have our individual tastes, but I think if you try and keep it to a fairly relatable level in terms of actions and feelings, with a side of realism, then hopefully you can satisfy the majority of consumers needs, and paint a fairly vivid picture with words. Challenge accepted.

However, I do think the two platforms provide different types of sensual experiences, and to be honest, I’m down for both because if it’s well written, you’ll still get those tingles, and you can take your time for the scene to play out because you control the speed of your read, baby.


NOTE: If you haven’t seen any of the movies mentioned below, you might want to skip past as there are likely to be spoilers. Also, shall we see how many times I can INSERT a sexual innuendo? (Sexual innuendos will be capitalised, bold and pink.)

Ready? Okay. Here we go.

1. Nan Astley (Rachael Stirling) and Kitty Butler (Keeley Hawes) in Tipping The Velvet, 2002.

Goodness me. The anticipation leading up to that scene… somebody call 999 because I am on fire! Bear in mind this was set in England during the 1890s and homosexuality wasn’t something that was out in the open, so to speak - which obviously adds to the tension and heat between the two MC’s. Anyway, it’s clear they both have all the feels for one another but are too scared to do anything about it because they aren’t one hundred per cent sure the other feels the same.

Sex is initiated when Kitty storms off from a party, celebrating the success of their male impersonation theatre show, after seeing Nan dancing with some dude, and Nan inevitably chases after her. They get into their carriage and they have a heated discussion with Kitty revealing ‘I hate the way you make me feel’. Nan is taken aback by the confession and has a lightbulb moment where she realises Kitty feels the same about her. Kitty leans in for a tender kiss and we then see them back in the room they share, where they drop their dresses to the floor and take their relationship to the next level, complete with a soft instrumental between moans and heavy breathing. Everything about their love scene is slow and erotic, and I was completely captivated by the long-awaited yearning between them. And I think I EXPLODED when Kitty grips Nan’s hair with both hands as she RIDES THE WAVE… oh my. *fans self*

Nan: May I really touch you?

Kitty: Oh Nan, I think I shall die if you don’t.

I was eighteen when I first watched TTV, and living with my nan. My mum wouldn't get me a TV for my bedroom (queen of mean), so I had the ingenious plan to get my sixth-form friends to club together and buy me a TV-VCR combo for my eighteenth birthday. Can't throw away a present now, can you, mother? (Also, I'd like to point out that I didn't make my friends do this, it's what we did back in the day as there were a lot of us and we'd all make each others' eighteenth birthdays special at school. Sweet.)

Anyway, TTV CAME on TV and I escaped to my bedroom, and to my surprise, my nan was stood behind my bedroom door as I'd settled down to watch it, knowing what I was watching and wasn't impressed. She made a remark, and my fiery teen self responded, and then she left me to it. (FYI, My family took a long time to get over my sexuality. But whatever, I wasn't going to let that stop me from watching TTV. No siree! But bless my lovely friends for helping out my poor little gay self in my hour of need.)

Change? Nothing really. I was quite satisfied. I mean, I wouldn't oppose if they were to revisit and extend the scene.

RATING - 5 tingles out of 5

I couldn’t find a short clip that didn’t include music masking the dialogue, but here’s a YouTube link to the full episode (with Spanish subtitles). Skip to the raunch by scrolling to 45:20:

2. Esti (Rachel McAdams) and Ronit (Rachel Weisz) in Disobedience, 2017.

Their love scene was sizzling purely for the fact that it’s all they’d ever wanted since they were teenagers within a strict religious upbringing. You can really feel the wanting from both characters but especially from Esti because she’d succumbed to a life of religion and restriction, so it was the biggest RELEASE for her and they captured that very well.

The scene primarily showed the audience close-ups of the MC’s faces, which was quite hot, to be honest, as it left a lot to the imagination but in a formidable way because you felt everything just by their expressions. Quite a clever tactic.

One of the sweetest moments during the love scene was when the first thing Ronit did before they properly got into the RUMPY PUMPY, was gently remove Esti’s wig. A definite heart-melting moment. She clearly wants Esti at her rawest and I thought that was such a beautiful moment within an already beautiful moment.

In the Jewish Orthodox, married women wear wigs due to 'standards of modesty', but apparently only need to cover their hair in front of men they are not closely related to. (Correct me if I'm wrong.) I saw the film a little while ago now, but I could've sworn Esti kept her wig on when she slept with her husband... which makes her love scene with Ronit all the more special.

The sexiest part was when they were mutually PLEASING one another and the camera pans to a close-up of their hands INSIDE one another’s underwear. One of the hottest things I've seen on screen. Anyway, the entire scene is quite explicit but in a subtle, almost concealed way. So it leaves a lot to the imagination.

The end scene is probably rather poignant because you see Esti having her (probably first ever) orgasm, and all you see is her profile in complete ecstasy.

I'd also like to mention that every single kissing scene between them was so ridiculously intense… I was completely invested in their feelings towards one another. The two Rachels' notable chemistry was the essence of this entire movie.

The only thing I wasn’t keen on (and I don’t think I’m the only one here) is the spitting. I can get around the first time, you know, Esti wants every part of Ronit INSIDE of her, so I can let that SLIDE (oo-er!) but when Ronit does it again, for me it’s a step too far. As much as I fancy the pants off someone, I don’t really want them purposely spitting into my mouth. Save it for something else, baby.

Fun fact - Weisz’s saliva was actually lychee-flavoured lube.

Change? The spitting. Aaaaand maybe take a few more clothes off.

RATING - 4 tingles out of 5

Here’s a little teaser:

3. Gia (Angelina Jolie) and Linda (Elizabeth Mitchell) in Gia, 1998.

If I remember rightly, 'Gia' was one of the first lesbian movies I bought on DVD (later than its release though. It’s certificate 18 and I was only 13 when it CAME OUT.)

The entire scene was arty, erotic, and sensual, and rewatching it now, you don't actually see much in terms of the sex itself, but back then, what we did see was a big deal because during that time we barely saw anything erotic featuring lesbians on TV. So my gay teenage heart will always appreciate this scene for that purpose.

It all begins with an erotic photoshoot with a stark-naked Gia, and Linda is soon encouraged to join. She’s nervous at first, but it's evident that Linda is drawn to Gia. We are then greeted with a back and forth mix of black and white and colour shots of nipples, lips and tongues emerging through wire fencing. (Not those kinda lips, naughty!) Their JUICES are obviously FLOWING after their shoot because once it's finished, they go back to Gia’s place to take things further. It’s not gratuitous, the two women have a genuine interest in one another despite (I think) neither having been with a woman before, and I believe that is what sparked their interest in one another: the curiosity. And all thanks to the photographer (I bet he was gutted not to get an invitation).

The sex scene is very romantic and slow, and it was a nice TOUCH to see the MC’s hands, tongues and lips exploring every inch of one another’s bodies. It was extremely sensual. And I don't know about you, but seeing Angelina Jolie naked was enough of a turn on. Erotically charged is an understatement.

Change? More, more, more. It definitely wasn’t long enough.

RATING - 3.5 tingles out of 5

This has a song playing over it so, unfortunately, you can’t hear the original sound:

4. Alex (Keri Jo Chapman) and Grace (Teresa Garrett) in It’s In The Water, 1997.

This was a lot more subtle than I tend to prefer, but it was so damn adorable. This movie is totally underrated and I highly recommend it if you haven’t seen it. Anyway, what made this moment for me was the build-up: they were friends at school and both women ended up marrying men and went about their lives. Years later, Grace was caught having an affair with a woman and moved back home after the incident, and was now open about her sexuality. This sparks something in Alex (and there’s a really funny scene where Alex’s recent interest in the female sex causes her to fake sickness to get out of a social with her husband and his friends, and once he leaves, she heads to the video store and rents about eight lesbian-themed movies to watch before his return, which obviously stirs something within her about her own sexuality) and her curiosity leads her to kiss Grace.

Their sex scene emits long-lost feelings and you can sense the nerves between them but it’s so passionate and delicately done, you can’t help but feel weak at the knees and root for this new relationship. (You don’t see too much and this is one of those scenes that leaves things to the imagination.)

Grace: Are you nervous?

Alex: Are you?

Grace: Yes. No, I mean... yes I'm nervous about this but not that it’s you.

Alex: I'm nervous… about this… and that it’s you.

The lusting, sighs, deep eye contact, urgency and conversation are what makes this short scene for me, and you can tell that Grace is what has been missing from Alex’s life, and just like that, the nerves completely wash away. And in an interesting twist, it’s Alex who takes the lead in the bedroom. (I didn’t see that one COMING.)

It's not often a sex scene doesn't include some sort of music in the background, but the lack of sound here adds to the intimacy for me, as all you can hear are their lust-filled breaths.

Aside from that, it’s quite a funny movie, and besides homosexuality, it touches on themes including AIDS, coming out, ex-gay group meetings at a local church and small-town prejudice… and the title gives away the ridiculousness of the movie’s theme.

Change? Longer, and more action.

RATING - 4 tingles out of 5

Here it is:

5. Annabelle (Erin Kelly) and Simone (Diane Gaidry) in Loving Annabelle, 2006.

This is one of my all-time favourites, and the build-up and chemistry between the two MC’s make the vein in my neck PULSATE. A little fact about me: the whole student-teacher fantasy is my ultimate weakness, so I can resonate with Annabelle's desperate desire for her teacher. Anyway, enough about that. The progression of their relationship alongside Annabelle's persistence is what heightens the senses here, and you desperately want Simone to give in… which she does, eventually.

There are moments during the scene where you can see Simone is still slightly hesitant, but Annabelle TAKES THE LEAD and helps her to let go. My favourite part is when Annabelle backs Simone up against the wall, holding her arms so she has complete control. (What is it about being pushed up against a wall that's so damn sexy?) I also like that this sex scene is filmed in the dark. A lot of sex scenes are paired with bright or warm lighting, so it was quite refreshing to see something with the lights “off”.

All in all, I think this is one of my favourite sex scenes in lesbian movie history.

Change? Just make it a bit longer, that’s all I ask.

RATING - 5 tingles out of 5

The scene of my dreams:

(Sad fact - Diane Gaidry died on January 30, 2019 due to liver failure after a battle with cancer.)

BONUS MOVIE. Dallas (Erika Linder) and Jasmine (Natalie Krill) in Below Her Mouth, 2016.

This movie left nothing to the imagination. Nothing, I tell you! It was a complete raunch-fest... a fantasy film, and I’m still trying to figure out whether the two actresses had actually got it on because it seemed so realistic. I mean, probably not, but I can dream, right? After all, 'Blue Is The Warmest Colour' looked real (perhaps even more so than BHM), but they wore 'fake pussies' according to Léa Seydoux. And on the subject of BITWC, although I quite enjoyed the film and appreciated the sex scenes, I feel that 'Below Her Mouth' was more tasteful, and the difference there is that BHM had an all-female production crew. It shows.

Anyway, I digress. Dallas and Jasmine's lust for one another was evident throughout, and we were gifted with not one, not two, but three and a half sex scenes (and a little something extra in the form of a masturbation scene and a striptease). It was everything I could’ve asked for and more, and when I first CAME ACROSS this movie, I watched it four times in the space of a few weeks.

What made the sex for me was the diversity; we had it in an alley, on the car, in the bath, up against a wall, against a fridge door, on a table… we had oral, masturbation, strap-ons, face-sitting, grinding against legs… not to mention all the flirtation and teasing in between. The two MC’s certainly did a grand job building the tension, and the movie provided us with a whole host of lesbian PLEASURE... there's something for everyone. Anyway, I won’t say anymore, just watch it… if you’re into seeing everything LAID BARE.

(Dallas goes to pick up Jasmine and when she gets out of her car, she sees Jasmine stepping out of her house for their secret date in a VERY revealing dress.)

Dallas: Are you trying to kill me?

Change? Nothing.

Here’s a little clip:

RATING - 5 tingles out of 5


So, that’s my list. I know some people aren’t keen on sex scenes in movies and books, but personally I’m always disappointed if they don’t contain them because, to me, they are a necessity. It adds that extra element of connection between the characters, providing the build-up of their chemistry and story is notable that is. Though saying that, I'm not sure I’ve ever watched or read a lesbian sex scene and thought ‘no, that wasn’t essential’. And the more we get to see or read, the better, and I hold my hands up to being a completely desensitized sexual being. (Or 'dirty lezza perv', as I used to be affectionately referred to by my work friends way back when. Don't worry, it was all banter, and I liked it.)

On a final note, I'd like to say that there are so many other movies worthy of being mentioned, but I had to limit myself because… well, I need to get on with my own sex scene before Trump starts to personally deliver detergents.

And don’t even get me started on TV shows because we’d be here until the end of time! And…

Especially me. Seriously. I must CRACK ON.

Tell me, what are YOUR favourite sex scenes? (I’ve probably seen them.)

All my lesbian love,


P.S. I know I’ve provided clips but honestly, if the trailers interest you, I recommend watching these movies from start to finish to gain the whole sensory experience provided by the build-up and chemistry of the MC's relationships. It’s worth it.

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